I have so many thoughts about everything for this project. It all seems to be a bunch of electrons orbiting randomly around my head. I can’t quite seem to keep any of them still enough to get a good glimpse of what they are and how to use them. I lose track of what I need to do and what’s important, especially as new ideas come up that make the old ideas possibly obsolete.

There seem to be more walls going up than foundations. Hopefully I can use the materials from the wall for the foundation. Take down the wall while building what I need.

What do I need right now? Right now, I need to figure out if the materials I’m considering using are really non-toxic and can be composted and reused for natural reasons safely without causing any harm to the environment or people using it.

Shellac would be an ideal candidate. It’s smooth, durable and looks great. Bit it might not be waterproof enough. It might not be strong enough. It might take too long to apply. It might be too expensive.

As this project grows, I realize more and more how much experimentation is necessary. I realize how long testing will take to fully see if the materials work. I see how difficult it is just to make one of these boards due to the lack of resources available to me.

I’m on a bus right now to go to work. I’m trying to save money on gas and wear on my car (which is actually my wife’s because I had to junk my car a few weeks ago). If this car broke down, it would most likely be the end of our savings. I’m currently making just enough money for all our basic needs, which doesn’t include gas. I’m working three jobs: server, caregiver and surf instructor. Soon, the surf instructor job should pick up and I can make an extra $50 to $160 a day. If I can manage this around my other jobs I can make an extra $1,000 a month. That would bring me closer to my goal of getting a car (specifically for storing and transporting surf equipment for surf lessons) and a computer for this All Natural Surfboards project.

The seat I’m in on the bus is right below the seat of another passenger. He’s drunk. He’s spilling beer all over himself and the bus floor. I’m holding my backpack between my knees and keeping my feet on my toes to stay clean and dry. His shoes are also covered in beer. They have already poked through and soaked into my pants. He’s playing music very loudly; first it was Mexican music, then Metallica, now it’s generic hard rock. He never plays something longer than 30 seconds. I feel a growing sense of disgust for the world, no, for humans. I know I shouldn’t. It’s one bad apple from a beautiful tree of other, more sustaining fruit. A woman shouted thank you to the driver from the back of the bus as she got off. I know most of the world is benevolent and lovely, but, like cancer, it only takes a little bit to do damage. It seems harder than ever to put out positivity when the rotten fruit stinks so bad. I find myself sinking inward to remove myself from the affects. They’re laughing, having fun. I’m bothered. I’m mostly bothered because I have to be clean for the work I’m going to. If I were traveling, I imagine I’d care far less, if at all. How interesting that it takes a mere second to create a completely judgmental image of somebody.

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